Necessary Big Lebowski References

Jayson Werth is apparently more awesome than his over-productive 2009.

“That rug really tied the room together.”

Jayson Werth is not receiving constructive criticism

As my inaugural post to All Swings Considered, I’d like to mention my least favorite swing in baseball: Jayson Werth. It comes in two varieties.

1. The Modified Crescent Position. In this one, he bends his back knee down to the dirt, approximating a yoga position I’ve seen my friends do.
2. The Confident Stride (pictured). For higher pitches; the dramatic lean forward, pushing off his back foot and swinging the bat around like a shopkeeper cleaning his store while singing.

Note: it is important, in both swings, to puff your cheeks out like Louie Armstrong.

Dads (or moms!), don’t teach your son to hit like this man. If you see your son pantomiming Werth’s swing, take away his dessert and make him watch Albert Pujols in slow motion until he understands.

No! ----- Yes!

If Werth homers to right-center off Sabathia this World Series, I’ll throw my lager in excitement and frustration.