Trends Dashed

Some trends which ended with this World Series (dashed trend indicated by sad orange text):

1) In this playoff season, the demise of good closers and the ascent of bad closers:

  • Jonathan Papelbon (good):
    Regular season: 38/41 in save opportunities, 1.85 era
    Post season: 0/1, 13.50 era
  • Joe Nathan (good):
    Regular season: 47/52, 2.10 era
    Post season: 0/1, 9.00 era
  • Ryan Franklin (good, somehow):
    Regular season: 38/43, 1.92 era
    Post season: 0/1, 0.00 era (couldn’t retire side after Holliday error)
  • Jonathan Broxton (good):
    Regular: 36/42, 2.61 era
    Post-season: 2/3, 4.05 era
  • Mariano Rivera (good):
    Regular season: 44/46 svs, 1.76 era
    World Series trend dashed: 5/5 svs, 0.56 era
  • Brad Lidge (bad):
    Regular: 31/42, 7.21 era
    Post-season until World Series: 3/3, 0.00 era
    World Series trend dashed: 1 IP, 3 R, loss

2)  Alex Rodriguez continuing to not win a World Series:

  • Alex Rodriguez, July 27 1975-November 3, 2009: not winning the World Series
  • Alex Rodriguez, November 4, 2009: won World Series

3)  The Phillies winning the World Series and the Yankees not winning the World Series.

  • 2008: Phillies win the World Series, Yankees do not
  • 2009: Yankees win the World Series, Phillies do not

One trend that remains to be tested is teams getting better after Alex Rodriguez leaves:

  • 2000 Seattle Mariners, with A-Rod: 91-71
  • 2001 Seattle Mariners, without A-Rod: 116-46(!)
  • 2003 Texas Rangers, with A-Rod: 71-91
  • 2004 Texas Rangers, without A-R0d: 89-73

If this one holds, look out for those 2018 New York Yankees.

Utley: Godsend


The machine behind the man

Courtesy of Costesflaming bat.

Back to the Bronx for Game 6.

“Chase Utley, you are the man!”

Whatever Happened To…


Raul Ibanez?

Last seen: June 13th, 2009; Philadelphia.

At time of last sighting: was seen batting .322 with a 1.058 OPS, 22 home runs and 59 RBI.


Ryan Howard?

Last seen: October 28th, 2009; the Bronx

At time of last sighting: was seen batting .361 with RBI in 9 out of 10 playoff games.


Roscoe Roosevelt?

Last seen: October 13th, 2009; the backyard

At time of last sighting: was working off the frustration of losing a squirrel over the fence by chewing on an old Jim Thome batting practice bat.

Anyone with knowledge of the whereabouts of these three individuals should contact Charlie Manual at 1-800-CHARLIE.

Nick Swisher, 29, Will Be Best Remembered for His Relatively High .OBP

Police approached Joe Blanton quietly as the pitcher put out his hands to be cuffed. He didn’t say anything, he just let the officers lead him off the field and push his head down as they ducked into the dug-out. Meanwhile, Sgt. Thomas Patterson pulled a sheet over the victim’s faux-hawked head. 46,000 witnesses looked on.

“I’m sure we’ll uncover more about the relationship between the two as time goes on,” said Sgt. Patterson. “But, yes, we do think it was premeditated. We’ll continue to investigate.” He looked glumly towards the batters box, stained with a three inch patch of pin-striped blood. “It’s such a shame to see a guy with such a high on base percentage go like that. I mean, his average was terrible, but he sure knew how to walk.”

Nick Swisher, RF, Yankees, aged just 29, leaves behind a career .245 avg in 6 seasons in the majors though with decent power numbers and a good on base percentage. Joe Girardi, Yankees Manager, said that Swisher was one of the best number 7 hitters he ever knew. “And I knew a lot of them,” Girardi said.

Authorities are still unsure of what caused Blanton to throw the fatal pitch, though they suspect that the dispute was from their days together on Billy Beane’s Oakland Athletics, a team that patched together a mediocre offense that walked a lot, combining statistical analysis with breathtaking boredom.

Swisher, Blanton

Nick Swisher is best remembered for acting like an ass at every available opportunity

In the photograph above, Swisher (right) looks on in sheer oblivion. Joe Blanton is pictured on the left, cold and calculating. “He would scare you, ya know?” said Phillies’ third baseman, Pedro Feliz.

Though police are certain that Blanton acted alone, there is reason to suspect the existence of an accomplice, perhaps pictured here thrusting his hand towards Nick Swisher’s crotch.

However, other theories abound.

“I suspect Ruiz,” said Ron Hudson, a Phillies fan. “Last night, in Game 3, Swisher bowled into Ruiz with his knee up. I think he told Blanton to throw that pitch.”

Others disagree. “Nick was acting like an ass on second base last night when he got that double. He was also acting like an ass when he got that home-run. He was also acting like he batted higher than .249 this season when he acted like an ass after flying out late in the game,” said a Yankees player, alias “A-Rod”. “I don’t know. Anyone could have been in on it.”

As authorities investigate the murder, fans will ponder his .114 batting average in the post season up to Game 3. He’ll also be remembered for his wit.

“The way things have been going, to pull off a win like this gives us momentum and confidence,” said Swisher during the regular season after a win. “The way it happened was cool.”