Things That Depress Me

Even though I am gamely employed, I am thoroughly enjoying this baseball season. However, there are a glaring number of things that I really don’t like and actually get me upset. Not UPS worker after 25 years upset but just a little down. Here are some of the things that actually get me kind of depressed.

1) That Carlos Delgado won’t be the Mets first basemen after this year
Long gone will be the days of 15+ million for an average defenese, 27 homer, .220 average, loud mouth road cone at first base. Carlos, you used to be a force to be reckoned with (especially in the Blue Jays days…good lord he was a monster) but now you suck and I’m upset you’re leaving the Mets. You are the number one problem with the Mets and to see you leave will bring a tear to my eye.

2) The Indians
This team should rock! Not only do they have Sabathoid and Carmonillionare as their 1-2…they have ANOTHER 1-2 punch in Cliff Lee (fucking unhittable) and Aaron “Funny Man” Laffey. Betancourt is a sick middle man (but wow…what a disaster as the closer) and Joe Borowski was supposed to be able to get it done (but who didn’t see that coming). With a 1-4 like they have you have no excuse for winning games…and their offense doesn’t suck at all! Pronk, Grady Sizemore, Victor Martinez, Peralta, Ryan Garko…these guys can hit!!! WTF is going on with them??

3) The Tigers
Jesus Christ. I didn’t pick these guys to make the playoffs because their pitching blows, but I had no idea it would be this bad. Justin Verlander should walk out to every start from now on with a bag on his head. Bonderman has been far from stellar. Robertson shares his last name with my ex-girlfriend, so you knew he was gonna suck hardcore at some point. Everybody knew the pitching was questionable…but the offense?? This team should be brutally murdering opposing pitchers; I feel like I’m watching some huge bear toy with fish in the river, then release them. He’s got these f’n claws man!

4) That John Kruk isn’t a hitting coach somewhere
John Kruk is pudgy bastard who hit .300 in this league with a .400 on base percentage. He can tell you with any major league hitter why he’s doing well, or why he’s doing poorly. He’s a fantastic ambassador to the game and the only reason he should ever leave baseball tonight is to be a hitting coach. You don’t get by in the majors doing THAT well with THAT body without being a total hitting genius. I love Kruk.

5) Brett Myers will be getting twelve million dollars next year
That’s right folks, a big ol’ twelve million bucks. The guy who was dominant in spring training has officially lost his edge and is struggling to get it back. He’s given up more runs than anybody in the National League this year (seriously) and his head is way out of whack. The velocity on his fastball has magically disappeared and his slider is quickly becoming opposing hitters favorite to hit. If the Phillies are going to do it, its going to be this year and with Myers off the reservation that scares the crap out of me.

6) Chris Wheeler
Wheels is just a total shitbrick. You know it, I know it, Harry Kalas knows it.

7) That the 2007 Mets hangover has to end at some point. I drive alot in North Jersey, and listening to Mets radio is one of the highlights of my trip. All this finger pointing towards Willie Randolph literally kills me. Not a season ago was he being heralded as one of the best managers in baseball…all of a sudden their catcher doesn’t do HGH, Jose Reyes plays like a down syndrome 13 year old, Delgado shows his age, Beltran is injury prone, Pedro can’t pitch 5 innings in a row, Glavine is old, Wagner gives up big homers….yet this is all Willie’s fault. Sure he’s sensitive, sure he’s a little paranoid, and I don’t blame him. His entire team laid the biggest, smelliest turd in baseball history last year. If he’s a little pissy at his players, can you blame him? They’re going to put him out of a job, and fast.

If you’re noticed the lack of activity here at AllSwings, its because A) I finally got a job and B) everybody else has jobs. I just do mine poorly.

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