Opening Week Observations – with a Happy Ending!

Teams that were supposed to be bad but are .500 or above: Orioles, Devil Rays, White Sox, Royals, Rangers, Marlins, Cardinals, Reds.
Teams that were supposed to be good but are below .500: Red Sox, Tigers, Mariners, Phillies, Mets, Rockies.
The only team performing where they should be is the Giants. There is no saving them. Aaron Rowand is not the answer, great CF, but CBP-inflated numbers in a contract year is a sure-fire way to become overpaid. Now all he can do is watch Barry Zito soft-toss BP to the opposing team.
Good thing the season isn’t over…oh, and all teams have only played two series.

In reference to the Tigers 0-6 start, a hard-thinking brain at Detroit News has come up with this…vaguishness.

The other day I was watching a game…of some teams who play baseball…and the only thing I remember is this interaction between Joe Morgan and…some other guy, probably Jon Miller, as they hypothesized (or decreed) who would win…all of it.

JM: I’m gonna have to pick Boston.
JM: Well, you can’t go wrong with that.
Me: Shut up, Joe Morgan.

The second JM is Joe Morgan, by the way. Anyway, the whole point of the baseball season is that you can and probably will go wrong with your pick for the big winner. Speaking without thinking is fun.

In the fantasy world I am surprised by the fact that my team is being carried by Nate McLouth. Now, I thought he would be a good player to have on my team in terms of power and speed, but I didn’t expect him to be outperforming Ryan Howard, Brian Roberts, Garret Atkins, and Troy Tulowitzki along with every other hitter I have. Sell High or ride him until I can only trade him for free agent Sammy Sosa?

Is it just me or are there more bases being stolen (so far) this season? Carlos Gomez and Michael Bourn both nabbed their 5th SBs today. And I just saw that Bourn got his 6th. Apparently they’re just being sent every time they get on base (ok, fine, every other time). Most pre-season predictions had both Bourn and Gomez pegged at somewhere in the mid 20s steal-wise. At this rate they’ll be there before a fifth of the season is done. There are six other guys with 3 SBs and there could be a few more before the night is done. Lance Berkman has 2 SBs.

Meanwhile the Mets are intent on SB failure and have managed to limp-wrist 2 HRs (although I heard at least two deep shots just barely miss leaving the hugantic Dolphins Stadium). The Phillies have no problem hitting HRs (CBP), but Brett Myers apparently wasn’t ready to resume starting. I can’t help thinking “DICK” as I see that Tom Glavine is in the process of making his ERA and WHIP better than Johan Santana’s…for a fraction of the price. Last time I saw him he was making me think “OH DEAR GOD NO!” for 1/3 of an inning. Both the Nats and Marlins have some major difficulties with their pitching, but the top halves of their batting orders are young and beastly.

This just in: The All-Star game will be replaced by a Bourn vs. Gomez 200m race.

Your baseball homework for the week: If you were to field a team of zombie ballplayers, which players’ abilities would translate best into undead format? Deceased players only…unless you come up with a creative way to knock off living players.

Your non-baseball homework for the week: Define Chronomatopeia.

Happy Ending!

One Response

  1. Just so you know, Garrett Atkins is terrible until you drop him. Speaking from experience.

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