Opening Day Notes from Moonlight Graham

So first, Costesflamingbat is a standup guy just for rolling out of bed so early for tickets. Without him, I would have been sitting in my office, doubly miserable when Gordon blew the lead. Instead I got to share in an exciting 8 innings of Major League Baseball with Costes and Hackdaddy.

So thoughts on opening day? SEPTA came through with a connecting Phillies Express from suburban. The electricity in the air reminded me of the last days of September of 2007. When Jimmy hit his lead-off double to start off the Phillies offense, the chants of “MVP! MVP!” almost brought me to tears. Baseball is back.

Spring training predictions of a shallow Phillies pitching staff were on-par for this game. Myers, unused to a start in awhile, perhaps, blew up in the 4th. Madsen let up a homerun. Gordon imploded.

Pat Burrell had a walk and a RBI, making me look like a fantasy genius. I told the screaming fat guy next to me as much when he ragged on Burrell, to which he responded, flushed with $7 beer, “Fantasy baseball? Are you kidding me? Gotta play fantasy football. Fantasy baseball is boring.” I almost stabbed him. He preceeded to tell us that fantasy football gave you time to have sex with your hot wife, so I stopped taking him seriously.

The truth is that fantasy baseball is NOT boring. It’s too interesting. While Burrell was on base, I was secretly checking out the scores of other games and found myself hoping that Wright would hit a homerun for the …. Mets! ARRRRG! Such a cruel game. I was awarded the “David Wright Illiteracy Trophy” for “Spreading Awareness about Illiteracy.” I admit. I’m a sellout. But I was crushed when Utley was taken second and with my third draft pick and in a panic about not having enough steals last year (44 all season…. ew), I took the only 3rd baseman I knew who had 30 homeruns, 30 steals, and 100+ rbis. So what if he can’t read? Eloquence isn’t a fantasy category. At least he doesn’t have herpes like some players… unless herpes related facial blemishes are a fantasy category.

9th inning and the Phillies’ hopes are gone in a Flash. Riding back with fans in a depressed lull, croweded on the Broad St. Line back into Center City, I was content to know that baseball was back. 1 down; 161 to go.

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