Jeff Passan Doesn’t Know Things

Jeff Passan, a man who normally writes somewhat decent baseball articles, just decided to tell us who is being over and underpaid (based on negotiated contracts) this season…or for the past few seasons, he seems to change his mind on that for some players. Needless to say he has made some idiotic choices.

all numbers are through May 29th, when article was written

Passan lists Carlos Delgado as the overpaid 1B before saying that Richie Sexson with a higher salary and worse numbers could have taken this spot. Thanks, Jeff, you’re an idiot.

Delgado: 7HR 32RBI 26R 2SB .239BA .319OBP .394SLG $14.5
Sexson: 7HR 30RBI 20R 0SB .195BA .298OBP .390SLG $15.5

Passan on desserts: “Apple Pie is my favorite dessert, but cheesecake is better.”

Oh yeah, Passan likes to mention injured players in this list, although he misses quite a few such as Nick Johnson. $3.2 million for sitting on the DL? You suck, Nick Johnson.

At SS Passan lists Julio Lugo, who despite less than appealing numbers is still making his time on base count (15 for 15 in steal attempts). The names Cristian Guzman and Adam Everett come to mind in this spot.

Lugo: 3HR 30RBI 27R 15SB .230BA .292OBP .342SLG $8.25
Guzman: 1HR 6RBI 12R 1SB .256BA .311OBP .378SLG $4.2
Everett: 1HR 9RBI 11R 3SB .206BA .266OBP .288SLG $2.8

Passan gives this gem on underachieving 3B Scott Rolen: “Take away Rolen’s 5-for-6 game April 22 and he’s hitting .207 with one home run and 16 RBIs.” Of course, what he really meant to say was: “Take away all of Rolen’s limbs and he’s completely fucked.” Rolen is the clear choice here though, but an honorable mention goes out to Eric Chavez who, at $9 million, has better power numbers than Rolen, but is hitting 29 points lower at .233BA and getting on base 47 points lower at .294OBP.

In his list of OFs Passan manages to leave out Jim Edmonds who, with 14R, has scored less than Garret Anderson while having played in twice as many games and has a significantly lower OBP than Bobby Abreu and J.D. Drew. Of course he makes a chunk less and plays for the Cardinals in the worst division in anything.

Two of the pitchers Passan lists haven’t even pitched this season (Matt Clement, Mike Hampton) and two others only pitched a couple or a few games before landing on the DL for the season (Carl Pavano, BJ Ryan). He left off some HUGE names here:

Kris Benson $7.5 Out for Season
Jaret Wright $7 In 3 starts 0-3, 10.1IP, 6.97ERA, 2.03WHIP, 7K, 9BB
Carlos Zambrano: $12.4 5-5 5.24 ERA
Eric Milton: $9 In 6 starts 0-4, 5.17ERA, 1.53 WHIP
Jake Westbrook: $8.1 In 6 starts 1-2, 7.90ERA, 1.68WHIP
Kenny Rogers: $8 Has yet to start
Jason Schmidt: $12.5 In 3 starts 1-2, 11.0IP, 7.36ERA, 2.00WHIP
Pedro Martinez: $14 Has yet to start
Esteban Loiza: $6 Has yet to start
Chris Carpenter: $8.5 In 1 start 0-1, 7.50ERA, 1.67WHIP
Mark Mulder: $5 Has yet to start
Kevin Millwood: $7.5 2-4, 6.62ERA, 1.81WHIP
Vincente Padilla: $9 2-7, 5.77ERA, 1.55WHIP
Kip Wells: $4 2-9, 6.20ERA, 1.48WHIP
Mike Mussina: $11 2-3, 5.86ERA, 1.36WHIP
Mariano Rivera: $10.5 1-3, 5.94ERA, 1.32WHIP
Kyle Farnsworth: $5.25 0-1, 4.87ERA, 1.57WHIP
Kei Igawa: $4 2-1, 7.63ERA, 1.60WHIP
Woody Williams: $6 1-7, 5.65ERA, 1.52WHIP
Jose Mesa: $2.5 1-1, 10.13ERA, 1.87WHIP
And finally, the most overpaid player so far:
Roger Clemens: $28 bajillion for pitching in the minors.

On the underpaid side, once again he goofs at 1B. Carlos Pena is certainly a steal at 800K, but depending on what site you look at Adrian Gonzalez is making somewhere between 500K and 1 million while putting up slightly better numbers. Pena can also boost his earnings up by 400K based on performance.

Before I correct Passan on his mistake at 2B I should explain that he lists Jose Reyes and David Wright as the underpaids at SS and 3B, largely due to their backloaded contracts (much like Adrian Gonzalez’s). Take a look at this horrendous error:

Placido Polanco: 1HR 27RBI 27R 1SB .332BA .378OBP .420SLG $4.6
Chase Utley: 9HR 43RBI 37R 3SB .304BA .388OBP .551SLG $4.5
Brian Roberts: 2HR 16RBI 34R 19SB .312BA .406OBP .421SLG $4.2

He picks Polanco over both Utley (who would be my choice) and Roberts (who would still be a better choice than Polanco). The reason he does this? Read the title of the article.

Tim Hudson and John Smoltz, while having great seasons, not only get paid more than Brad Penny and Josh Beckett, but have worse stats than they do.

Hudson: $8.5 5-3, 2.79ERA, 1.09WHIP
Smoltz: $8 7-2, 2.82ERA, 1.27WHIP
Penny: $7.5 7-1, 2.06ERA, 1.19WHIP
Beckett: $6 8-0, 2.65ERA, 0.97WHIP

Additionally, on the relief front:

Scott Linebrink: $1.75 1-1, 2.28ERA, 0.89WHIP
Doug Brocail: $500K 2-0, 2.08ERA, 0.97WHIP
Aaron Fultz: $1.5 3-0, 1.93ERA, 0.93WHIP
Hideki Okajima: $1.2 1-0, 1.05ERA, 0.82WHIP
Pedro Feliciano: $602K 1-0, 0.96ERA, 1.18WHIP

So there you have it. Jeff Passan, an award winning journalist with a degree from Syracuse University, has been accused and proven of writing an only partially researched article. I will accept all payment he received for said article at the following address:

Dr. Thaddeus Ballpheasant
1 David Wright Drive
It’s Going, Gone 00500(ft)

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6 Responses

  1. great post mike…unfortunately I didn’t know you lived in a gated homosexual community.

  2. Aside from maybe a few guys, i’m going to generalize and say that most all of these guys are over-paid.

    Seriously. I wouldn’t pay $20 to sit in bleacher seats to see half these guys. Well, I would pay to see Kris Benson. No, moreover, Benson’s pyscho hot wife. Too bad he’s injured. Does that mean his wife is MIA?

  3. Actually they’re separated…nows your chance to date a psycho ex-stripper who threatened to sleep with the entire Mets team if her husband cheated on her…….dibs.

  4. yes jeff is an idiot. Hes prolly the worst jouranlist writing today. And i have lt him know that. Jeff i need to take you to a game someday like my son and teach you every about baseball. And I guess they just give degrees away in syraque

  5. Geez, give Jeff a break. The guy has a daily 1,000 word article in which he has to pull out the compelling human interest stories from the humdrum of 2,000 + games and endless science of the statisticians. If he wiffs an occasional metaphor while aiming at the fence, I’ll let it slide. You give that much grace to your superstars on the diamond. Plus, if you’re going to rag on a journalist, you might want to learn how to spell the word, Justin.

  6. What a waste of an article this was.

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