Please, Joe Mauer, Stay a Twin (a short essay)

One of the early themes of this off season is the status of Joe Mauer and Albert Pujols.  Both are franchise players a year away from the end of their current contracts.  Commentators seem to enjoy asking whether Minnesota or St. Louis can afford to keep these iconic players.  Will they be able to match the deals [...]

The Cycle: Mets Play Winning Baseball in 2012!…?

One of my friends has developed a theory that the Mets have fallen into a baseball cycle wherein they advance in the playoffs every 6 years. And a quick look at the past decade gives us no reason to argue otherwise: 2000: 94-68, lose WS to bat-tossing Clemens’ Yanks. 2003: 66-95, low point of sucking. [...]

The Decline of Adam Dunn

Sell out Sadly, our heroes do not live forever.  The baby robins in the front yard eventually abandon their nest.  The family dog loses his eyesight and can no longer bound up the stairs.  And Adam Dunn has sold out to the almighty batting average.   Enough time has passed since the end of the [...]

And the award for most bizarre offseason development goes to…

Sammy Sosa for turning… white? According to Sosa (by way of ESPN), facial cosmetic cream has lightened his skin. Whether White Sosa is here to stay or not, I’m just happy to have any Sosa back in my life. What ever happened to that guy anyway? What? Oh. Yeah…

Another Reason to Hate the Mets – Sorry, Thaddeus

The Mets are going to host a dinner for the Hebron Fund this month, a group that supports the ongoing illegal settlement of Hebron, a city in the West Bank that has some really onerous Israeli religious folk. Go to this site and tell the Mets to suck it: http://www.jewishvoiceforpeace.org/publish/article_1227.shtml. Pretend you’re a Phillies fan [...]

Gold Glove, Gold Smhlove

The 2009 Gold Gloves have been awarded.  As a young boy, I always rooted for my favorite players (Ken Griffey Jr, lock; Jay Buhner, one!; Edgar Martinez, fat chance) to win.  Today, I know that this award is decided by a process dramatized below: Manager: “Hey Jim, time to fill out those flippin’ gold glove [...]

The Knuck Marches On

ESPN reports that the Red Sox have torn up the best contract in baseball.  Yes, they have replaced Tim Wakefield’s perpetual, $4 million per year contract with a 2-year, $5 million dollar deal.  This is obviously a source of concern for those who want to see Wakefield play indefinitely, as it suggests a timeline in [...]

Quick Links: Everybody On This Blog Depressed

Prepare for pain, anger, and humor. Amazin’ Avenue: The Gangsta and Grission Awards give mention to David Wright’s helmet and Tony Bernazard’s pugilism. Metstradamus: The Mets are apparently scared of wasting money on certain free agents, which is something they hadn’t ever really worried about before. Also, out there somewhere, is an enormous bitch by [...]

Flame War: Yankee fans merely average at best, worldwide

So as the entirety of non-Yankees fans falls into deeper hatred of the Bronx Bombe…ugh, I bring you a response to this thing written a few weeks ago by a “journalist.” Mike Lupica, a poor excuse for a sports writer, is a douche? There are no real facts presented, just vague observations about how “…no [...]

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